Gene, Chris, Greg, Paul, Goggs:
Of course I loved the show...I've been following all of you for a decade plus, except for Goggs, and I consider him family also. Which sounds weird to my own ears as I've never met any of you. I have immersed myself in our topics, beginning from when I saw the silhouette of a man wearing a hat through my bedroom window in 1967. The years flowed by and I saw, among other things, a cross in the sky as my mother and I stepped of the porch of my dad's old abandoned family farm house in TN, a missing time incident with my sister Susie as we traveled home from Boone, N.C. to that same farm in TN in 1973, when I was thirteen. I, through my older sisters, lived through the haight '60's, the back to the land 70's, with all the attendant substance s. Came of age in the late 70's - early 80's, and finally matured on the pacific coast. With many fabulous and terrifying anomalous experiences along the way.
Was lucky enough in my search for understanding of my "high strange" experiences and questions to discover folks like y'all and Vallee and Nick and, well, the best.
But I sit here now,at 56, and wonder, having blown 7 years clean and sober, if this whole rabbit hole trip, psychically, spiritually, quest for gnosis has been nothing but mental masturbation. I feel as if Chris pegged it with his trickster: with a nod to "Messengers of Deception" and my obsession has been a waste when I ask myself, "How has this served you, Bud?
Its us. Its the trickster. Greg has his work and flying, Chris has his music, Paul has the law and art, Nick has his writing, Genes has his fabulous history and a wife. I've lost myself in decades of an obsession that only leads to falling asleep each night with the Paracast, Micah, Radio Misterioso, or Tim B., or an interview with Red Pill droning into my ear buds. Its all just become to much. Not to mention realizing that my " owl" synchronicity this Christmas was so profound that Mike C. posted it on his blog.(long story)
Guys, I realize that I consider you my "friends" when in reality we've never met. Although, I do hope to see some of you in Dallas in April-(don't be scared, I'm harmless)..... What I'm saying is: Where has this fascination with forteana brought us? Or, really, where has it brought me?
I need a life away and seperate from this stuff.
How do you all keep from letting this consume you? Bud Oliver
