MADMANMIKE
Skilled Investigator
Listening to the latest show, I was struck by the mention of a UFO flap in 1978. I was four years old then and started having a recurring nightmare that seems to fit the traumatic overlay theory.
The gist of the dream is this; I was being chased and when cornered I turned on my enemy and strangled them until a white foam came out of their mouth. The overlay is this. I remember it as though I was in a cartoon; running through the canyons from RoadRunner and ending up in Flintstones-esque caves. I saw my enemy as a kid wearing a costume with a skull mask, and for some reason, it was only a few years ago before I realized the defining features of that mask were a slit for a mouth and two large terrifying black holes where the eyes would be.
It was thin and wirey and I remember the clammy feel of it's hands on my arms as I put my hands on it's throat and squeeze, screaming in rage and terror and loss of control. It felt wrong to revel in the futility of it's weak flailing blows against my chest and sides. The horror of the strange white foam coming out of it's mouth as it stopped struggling bothered me the most for a long time.
I woke from that dream in cold sweats off and on for years, and it still disturbs me to think about it. Most of my childhood I was picked on in school and often got beat up, but I rarely fought back; the fear of what I thought I was capable of clamped restraint down on me like iron shackles.
I should say, a few years later when I was seven I went through what I call my "year of hell". Parents separated, two house fires, molested by my mother's boyfriend, struck by lightning, three pet deaths, nearly drowned under ice for the second time in my life, and eventually forced to move across the state and never see any of my friends again. Post Traumatic Stress took on new meaning for me that year.
Also, as I've mentioned in the past, I have Asperger's Syndrome, with about 20% more sensitivity in all my physical senses. This was reconfirmed for me in part when I went to see an Audiologist last year for the tenitus in my left ear. Going through the exam she remarked that I had perfect anatomy. On the hearing test, my scores were pretty much a straight line across the top of the chart.
"You have remarkable hearing, better than anyone I've ever tested"
"Yeah, but what I'm hearing is a ringing sound..." <8[
-Mike
The gist of the dream is this; I was being chased and when cornered I turned on my enemy and strangled them until a white foam came out of their mouth. The overlay is this. I remember it as though I was in a cartoon; running through the canyons from RoadRunner and ending up in Flintstones-esque caves. I saw my enemy as a kid wearing a costume with a skull mask, and for some reason, it was only a few years ago before I realized the defining features of that mask were a slit for a mouth and two large terrifying black holes where the eyes would be.
It was thin and wirey and I remember the clammy feel of it's hands on my arms as I put my hands on it's throat and squeeze, screaming in rage and terror and loss of control. It felt wrong to revel in the futility of it's weak flailing blows against my chest and sides. The horror of the strange white foam coming out of it's mouth as it stopped struggling bothered me the most for a long time.
I woke from that dream in cold sweats off and on for years, and it still disturbs me to think about it. Most of my childhood I was picked on in school and often got beat up, but I rarely fought back; the fear of what I thought I was capable of clamped restraint down on me like iron shackles.
I should say, a few years later when I was seven I went through what I call my "year of hell". Parents separated, two house fires, molested by my mother's boyfriend, struck by lightning, three pet deaths, nearly drowned under ice for the second time in my life, and eventually forced to move across the state and never see any of my friends again. Post Traumatic Stress took on new meaning for me that year.
Also, as I've mentioned in the past, I have Asperger's Syndrome, with about 20% more sensitivity in all my physical senses. This was reconfirmed for me in part when I went to see an Audiologist last year for the tenitus in my left ear. Going through the exam she remarked that I had perfect anatomy. On the hearing test, my scores were pretty much a straight line across the top of the chart.
"You have remarkable hearing, better than anyone I've ever tested"
"Yeah, but what I'm hearing is a ringing sound..." <8[
-Mike