Okay Gang, from June 2006 and a column I wrote when I was still pissed off because of another encounter with a "brain dead" TV asshole.
I Get the Last Word
By Don Ecker
June 2006
Now that Summer is arriving, most of us will be spending more time outside enjoying the milder weather and growing vegetation. Perhaps a lot of us will start looking up at the sky hoping to see something “unusual.” At least I hope so. Why?
Well, it seems that the UFO topic has pretty much dropped off the radar. Most of the news has been pretty bad of late. In Iraq, suicide bombings continue, the American political landscape is in turmoil over the issue of undocumented immigrants, with various aspects being highlighted; “national security vs. human rights,” “economic meltdown vs. millions paying into the tax structure,” etc., ad nauseam. Geeze, can you imagine what would happen if we were suddenly confronted with an extraterrestrial immigration? It seems to me we NEED an influx of UFO information to “jump-start” the silly season, as it was once called.
When you are dealt lemons you really should make lemonade. But I digress.
Once again I received an email from a TV producer who suddenly discovered the UFO subject! Over the years I’ve received hundreds of such calls from the TV industry. It kind of goes like this. . . .
TV Guy: Uh, hi Don! (sounds like my newest best-est buddy!) I’m Joe TV and I want to do a special on the UFO thingy!
ME: Great! So, what did you have in mind?
TV Guy: (or sometimes TV Girl) Well, I was on the Internet and I came across this webpage that says that aliens are eating us. So, tell me everything you know in the next three minutes ‘cause I have a meeting with the Gazillion-Dollar Network President in a half an hour!!! I think I have a winner for a special!!
ME: Well, Joe, I gotta tell ya, that in all my years in this business I’ve never really seen any evidence that the ETs are eating us. So, where did you see this page?
TV Guy: Um, where did I see the . . . what?
ME: Well, Joe, the webpage that says the aliens are eating us, remember?
TV Guy: Oh, that. Well this guy -- let me check, oh yeah -- the Paranoid Schizoid Website where all the SECRET alien suppressed information is!
ME: Oh, that website. Well, Joe, we did an investigation on that two years ago and found out that this guy had a nervous breakdown several years ago when he was working as a widget counter. Now, if you want to do a special on UFOs, let me tell you about this case we are working on now. We discovered this document in the Presidential Archives of . . .
. (Now I can hear his eyes glazing over!)
TV Guy: What? I’m really interested in the aliens eating us thingy!
ME: Well, Joe, I’m sorry but I have no information on anything like that.
TV Guy: Okay, how about this? This other webpage says that aliens are really LIZARDS and that George Bush senior and the Queen are really LIZARDS in disguise and they’re plotting to take over the world! Gee, you’ve heard all about that one, right?
ME: Joe, yes, I’ve heard that, but wow! You don’t really buy into that, do you?
( 15 seconds of deafening silence)
TV Guy: Well! Okay, thanks. Click!
Maybe I should have spun him a story. On the other hand, I’ve written this very well-received horror novel. Hey TV Guy! Wanna break into the movie biz? Cause let me tell ya, I’ll have my people call your people and we can do the lunch thing! Oh yes! Let’s do a power lunch and I can pitch you on the latest soon-to-be breaking HORROR CRAZE! Or, you can pick my brains that are storing 20 years of esoteric UFO research and then refuse to use any of it!
Oh, the shame! The shame of it all!
And until then, keep looking UP!
*Don Ecker is research director for UFO Magazine and an avid television watcher. He’s currently writing the sequel to his first novel, *Past Sins.
I Get the Last Word
By Don Ecker
June 2006
Now that Summer is arriving, most of us will be spending more time outside enjoying the milder weather and growing vegetation. Perhaps a lot of us will start looking up at the sky hoping to see something “unusual.” At least I hope so. Why?
Well, it seems that the UFO topic has pretty much dropped off the radar. Most of the news has been pretty bad of late. In Iraq, suicide bombings continue, the American political landscape is in turmoil over the issue of undocumented immigrants, with various aspects being highlighted; “national security vs. human rights,” “economic meltdown vs. millions paying into the tax structure,” etc., ad nauseam. Geeze, can you imagine what would happen if we were suddenly confronted with an extraterrestrial immigration? It seems to me we NEED an influx of UFO information to “jump-start” the silly season, as it was once called.
When you are dealt lemons you really should make lemonade. But I digress.
Once again I received an email from a TV producer who suddenly discovered the UFO subject! Over the years I’ve received hundreds of such calls from the TV industry. It kind of goes like this. . . .
TV Guy: Uh, hi Don! (sounds like my newest best-est buddy!) I’m Joe TV and I want to do a special on the UFO thingy!
ME: Great! So, what did you have in mind?
TV Guy: (or sometimes TV Girl) Well, I was on the Internet and I came across this webpage that says that aliens are eating us. So, tell me everything you know in the next three minutes ‘cause I have a meeting with the Gazillion-Dollar Network President in a half an hour!!! I think I have a winner for a special!!
ME: Well, Joe, I gotta tell ya, that in all my years in this business I’ve never really seen any evidence that the ETs are eating us. So, where did you see this page?
TV Guy: Um, where did I see the . . . what?
ME: Well, Joe, the webpage that says the aliens are eating us, remember?
TV Guy: Oh, that. Well this guy -- let me check, oh yeah -- the Paranoid Schizoid Website where all the SECRET alien suppressed information is!
ME: Oh, that website. Well, Joe, we did an investigation on that two years ago and found out that this guy had a nervous breakdown several years ago when he was working as a widget counter. Now, if you want to do a special on UFOs, let me tell you about this case we are working on now. We discovered this document in the Presidential Archives of . . .
. (Now I can hear his eyes glazing over!)
TV Guy: What? I’m really interested in the aliens eating us thingy!
ME: Well, Joe, I’m sorry but I have no information on anything like that.
TV Guy: Okay, how about this? This other webpage says that aliens are really LIZARDS and that George Bush senior and the Queen are really LIZARDS in disguise and they’re plotting to take over the world! Gee, you’ve heard all about that one, right?
ME: Joe, yes, I’ve heard that, but wow! You don’t really buy into that, do you?
( 15 seconds of deafening silence)
TV Guy: Well! Okay, thanks. Click!
Maybe I should have spun him a story. On the other hand, I’ve written this very well-received horror novel. Hey TV Guy! Wanna break into the movie biz? Cause let me tell ya, I’ll have my people call your people and we can do the lunch thing! Oh yes! Let’s do a power lunch and I can pitch you on the latest soon-to-be breaking HORROR CRAZE! Or, you can pick my brains that are storing 20 years of esoteric UFO research and then refuse to use any of it!
Oh, the shame! The shame of it all!
And until then, keep looking UP!
*Don Ecker is research director for UFO Magazine and an avid television watcher. He’s currently writing the sequel to his first novel, *Past Sins.
