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Darwin Award Alert: OR Man Devoured by His Own Swine

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Christopher O'Brien

Back in the Saddle Aginn
Staff member
[One has to wonder what karmic lesson was learned... yikes! --chris]
Article HERE:Every pig has its day — and in this case, that means reversing the food chain.
A 70-year-old man in Oregon was almost entirely devoured by his hogs. Terry Vance Garner was attempting to feed the animals, which technically he did.
Family members report last seeing Garner intact when he left the house around 7:30 a.m. to feed the hogs.
A few hours later, a family member went to check on Garner. When he entered the hog enclosure, he found Garner's dentures on the ground. On further examination, the family member then found pieces of Garner's body, but most of the body was gone, apparently eaten by the animals.
The discarded dentures really complete this gruesome tableau.
Now the mystery is finding out how exactly Garner died. Or as Coos County district attorney Paul Frasier put it, figuring out "how Mr. Garner ended up in a position where the hogs were able to consume him."
Given the state of Garner's remains, a medical examiner was unable to determine the cause of death. It's possible that Garner suffered a heart attack and was eaten by the hogs after he died — but it's just as possible one of the 700-pound beasts pushed him down.
The Sheriff's Office is also looking into foul play, which would mean another human was involved. It's almost comforting to think that someone non-porcine killed Garner, however awful that might sound. Outside of the natural causes scenario, the alternative is that those pigs acted maliciously.
The concept of a farm animal revolt is just fine as an allegory, but a real-life Napoleon the pig is too horrible to be imagined.
 
"You're always gonna have problems lifting a body in one piece. Apparently the best thing to do is cut up a corpse into six pieces and pile it all together. . . .

And when you got your six pieces, you gotta get rid of them, because it's no good leaving it in the deep freeze for your mum to discover, now is it? Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies' digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don't want to go sievin' through pig ****, now do you? They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, "as greedy as a pig".
" - Bricktop, from the movie Snatch.
 
As I was reading your post muadib I was getting very nervous as in "how the hell does he know this?" It was with great relief I saw the origin of your post.

Had this story taken place in ohio (?) I'm not so sure I could give you the benefit of doubt.
 
As I was reading your post muadib I was getting very nervous as in "how the hell does he know this?" It was with great relief I saw the origin of your post.

Had this story taken place in ohio (?) I'm not so sure I could give you the benefit of doubt.

Lol. For the record, you got the Ohio part right and I don't own any farm animals.:p
 
This is not a full Darwin award but this is what happens when you are stupid enough to use LPG to get high on.... I have no sympathy at all.
The dangers are very clear and printed on the canisters so this happened because of basic stupidity.

Horrified neighbours have relived the moment two Dunedin teenagers, screaming and on fire, staggered from a house that had just exploded.
The pair had been huffing gas from an LPG canister and is lucky to be alive.
The explosion was so powerful, the LPG bottle was blown across the room and knocked out an internal wall.
Glass was blown out of windows, tiles from the roof.
Neighbour Shirley Larsen saw one of the teenagers emerge from the house.
“His hair was all on fire,” she says. “His hands were all…the skin was just peeled back off his hands and were just bleeding and he ran up to me and he says ‘help me lady, help me’.”
Jamie Jury, 18, and his friend Brendon Mcleod, 17, had been huffing, or inhaling LPG to get high.
But the gas built up in the room and eventually exploded, sparked by the naked flame of a gas heater.
“He was down on his hands and knees, screaming out,” says neighbour Lyall Larson.
“One of them was asking for hot water to be tipped on to him because his nerve ends were so damaged that he felt cold,” says East Otago Fire Service assistant area commander Trevor Tilyard.
Luckily, first-aid treatment was close, with fire officers already in the area – so close, in fact, they didn't know they were in danger themselves.
“Just as they were about to enter the building to extinguish the fire there was another explosion,” says Mr Tilyard.
In total, three LPG bottles exploded. The pair will have to live with the consequences for the rest of their lives.
“These two young men are going to take a very, very, very long time to recover,” says Mr Tilyard. “It will be painful – many operations. It will take months and months if not years if they ever fully recover from this.”
The pair are both in the Intensive Care Unit at Dunedin Hospital. Jamie Jury's family have told 3 News he's not doing well. He is in an induced coma and it's likely he'll be flown to Middlemore Hospital in Auckland for more treatment.
Jamie Jury's family now have to juggle being by his side in Auckland and repairing their burnt out home.


Huffing pair face long recovery - Story - NZ News - 3 News
 
"Darwin Award Alert: OR Man Devoured by His Own Swine"
The swine told this reporter "The old man was a total boar" ;)
 
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