MADMANMIKE
Skilled Investigator
Here's a recent example of synchronicity for you all to consider...
Two weeks ago this Thursday I was driving home from work at around a quarter to midnight when I was hit by a Doe. I was about half a mile from home, just outside the small town I live in on old Route 66 (get your kicks!) when she bolted straight into my front left fender. I was already slamming on the breaks to no avail and after she fell away I turned around and parked beside the road with my lights on her.
At first she seemed to be fine, just dazed; panting hard and shaking in shock, she raised her head and neck and looked around. Then I saw that she had broken her front right leg off just below the knee, her foot hanging on by a thread of skin.
Crap I thought.. I'm going to have to put her out of her misery.. The thought turned my stomach. Don't get me wrong, if my life depended on it she'd have been on a spit over the flames by then. But it doesn't, and I go out of my way to avoid being an instrument of death (I catch Bee's and Wasps that find their way into my house and put them outside).
Then I realized I had no adequate implements of death; the first thought was to break her neck. Upon examination, however, the two foot length proved daunting to say the least; Visions of her raising up on her hind legs and impaling me with the exposed shin bone a few times before loping off to her slow painful death danced through my head.
Maybe I could bludgeon her to death with my tire-iron I thought. The scene played out, one good whack and she was up on her feet biting my nose of with that creepy little mouth before impaling me with her exposed bone and loping off to a slow death in the woods...
Fortunately my luck finally kicked in. Standing on a dark country road at midnight, the first person who comes along happens to have a butcher knife in his truck.
"We probably ought to put her out of her misery" he said as we stood and surveyed the poor animal.
"If you have the means, I'd appreciate it." I answered, happy to shift the karma.
"I've got a hatchet" he says as he goes to the truck. What he produced was not a hatchet. A hatchet has a blade about three inches across and two to three inches long with a long handle. What he had was a blade about three inches across and eight inches long with a short handle attached. Clearly a butcher knife.
With two deft motions he slashed the deer's neck on both sides and she flailed as she began to bleed out faster. Grabbing her hind legs he dragged her off to the side of the road and spoke softly to her, a gesture that calmed me a bit until his buddy got out of the truck.
This guy looked like he was on his way home from a casting call for a remake of Deliverance.
"I think I'll call my accident in now." I said as I dialed 911 on my cell. It rang until the phone hung up on me.
Great I thought. Middle of the night, I'm standing here with Deliverance and Butcher knife and there's no 911!
Feigning calm I called again and got an operator who put me through to the Highway Patrol. They informed me that a police report was not necessary unless a person was injured or my insurance wanted it.
I called my insurance and they said it wasn't necessary so I told them to hold on and turned to the two men. "I don't need the cops. You know what? It's your kill, you're welcome to it." I smiled hopefully...
"Thanks!" they both said as they hefted the animal into the back of their truck and drove off. Better her than me.
So the next day I go by my insurance agent's office and give them the claim number and my cell so they can have an adjuster contact me. I've got a $500 deductible, and no way to come up with that sort of money this month, but I already started the process so I might as well follow through.
Two hours later my cell phone gets shut off. We're in financial dire straights right now, and the cell is at the bottom of the priority list, despite the fact that it helps me make money (I'm in sales). In fact, a couple of attempts to pay other bills that day (usually my wife's responsibility) leave me convinced I'll be living in a box down by the river by this time next month, and there I am with no cell to call my wife and complain about it.
Fast forward to Tuesday. I go back to my Insurance Agent as she's one of my customers, and they're surprised that I still don't have any action on the car. I try to tell them it's not a big deal, but they insist on checking into it and put me on the phone with someone who tells me they'll send someone by my work place to examine the car while I'm working (I drive a freezer truck for Schawn's Foods, so the car sits at the depot all day).
When I get back that night There's a report from the adjuster, and a check to cover the difference from my deductible to get the fender fixed and the light.
I looked it up online, and the light I can get at an auto-parts store for 30 bucks and put on myself with a screwdriver. I couldn't care less about the fender, I'm driving this car until I sell it for scrap metal. So after about two days thought I finally caught up with the program and cashed the check to pay my phone bill.
I'll get the fender fixed when the tax return comes next spring, and the light gets fixed this weekend. Meanwhile I'm making more money for being able to contact my customers.
So see, all's well that ends well; Despite financial hard times I still have my cell phone, and although a deer had to die for it to happen, I'm sure she's being eaten right now, and better her than me.
-Mike <8]
Two weeks ago this Thursday I was driving home from work at around a quarter to midnight when I was hit by a Doe. I was about half a mile from home, just outside the small town I live in on old Route 66 (get your kicks!) when she bolted straight into my front left fender. I was already slamming on the breaks to no avail and after she fell away I turned around and parked beside the road with my lights on her.
At first she seemed to be fine, just dazed; panting hard and shaking in shock, she raised her head and neck and looked around. Then I saw that she had broken her front right leg off just below the knee, her foot hanging on by a thread of skin.
Crap I thought.. I'm going to have to put her out of her misery.. The thought turned my stomach. Don't get me wrong, if my life depended on it she'd have been on a spit over the flames by then. But it doesn't, and I go out of my way to avoid being an instrument of death (I catch Bee's and Wasps that find their way into my house and put them outside).
Then I realized I had no adequate implements of death; the first thought was to break her neck. Upon examination, however, the two foot length proved daunting to say the least; Visions of her raising up on her hind legs and impaling me with the exposed shin bone a few times before loping off to her slow painful death danced through my head.
Maybe I could bludgeon her to death with my tire-iron I thought. The scene played out, one good whack and she was up on her feet biting my nose of with that creepy little mouth before impaling me with her exposed bone and loping off to a slow death in the woods...
Fortunately my luck finally kicked in. Standing on a dark country road at midnight, the first person who comes along happens to have a butcher knife in his truck.
"We probably ought to put her out of her misery" he said as we stood and surveyed the poor animal.
"If you have the means, I'd appreciate it." I answered, happy to shift the karma.
"I've got a hatchet" he says as he goes to the truck. What he produced was not a hatchet. A hatchet has a blade about three inches across and two to three inches long with a long handle. What he had was a blade about three inches across and eight inches long with a short handle attached. Clearly a butcher knife.
With two deft motions he slashed the deer's neck on both sides and she flailed as she began to bleed out faster. Grabbing her hind legs he dragged her off to the side of the road and spoke softly to her, a gesture that calmed me a bit until his buddy got out of the truck.
This guy looked like he was on his way home from a casting call for a remake of Deliverance.
"I think I'll call my accident in now." I said as I dialed 911 on my cell. It rang until the phone hung up on me.
Great I thought. Middle of the night, I'm standing here with Deliverance and Butcher knife and there's no 911!
Feigning calm I called again and got an operator who put me through to the Highway Patrol. They informed me that a police report was not necessary unless a person was injured or my insurance wanted it.
I called my insurance and they said it wasn't necessary so I told them to hold on and turned to the two men. "I don't need the cops. You know what? It's your kill, you're welcome to it." I smiled hopefully...
"Thanks!" they both said as they hefted the animal into the back of their truck and drove off. Better her than me.
So the next day I go by my insurance agent's office and give them the claim number and my cell so they can have an adjuster contact me. I've got a $500 deductible, and no way to come up with that sort of money this month, but I already started the process so I might as well follow through.
Two hours later my cell phone gets shut off. We're in financial dire straights right now, and the cell is at the bottom of the priority list, despite the fact that it helps me make money (I'm in sales). In fact, a couple of attempts to pay other bills that day (usually my wife's responsibility) leave me convinced I'll be living in a box down by the river by this time next month, and there I am with no cell to call my wife and complain about it.
Fast forward to Tuesday. I go back to my Insurance Agent as she's one of my customers, and they're surprised that I still don't have any action on the car. I try to tell them it's not a big deal, but they insist on checking into it and put me on the phone with someone who tells me they'll send someone by my work place to examine the car while I'm working (I drive a freezer truck for Schawn's Foods, so the car sits at the depot all day).
When I get back that night There's a report from the adjuster, and a check to cover the difference from my deductible to get the fender fixed and the light.
I looked it up online, and the light I can get at an auto-parts store for 30 bucks and put on myself with a screwdriver. I couldn't care less about the fender, I'm driving this car until I sell it for scrap metal. So after about two days thought I finally caught up with the program and cashed the check to pay my phone bill.
I'll get the fender fixed when the tax return comes next spring, and the light gets fixed this weekend. Meanwhile I'm making more money for being able to contact my customers.
So see, all's well that ends well; Despite financial hard times I still have my cell phone, and although a deer had to die for it to happen, I'm sure she's being eaten right now, and better her than me.
-Mike <8]