4:37 PM June 22nd 1958.
The story you are about to hear is true.
The names have been changed to protect the innocent.
Los Angeles is a beautiful city, but sometimes ugly things happen here.
That's where I come in.
My name is Joe Friday, I carry a badge. My partner is Bill Gannon.
We were working daywatch out of Rampart Division when the call came in.
A family was missing. I tried to calm the hysterical woman on the other end of the line.
"Just the facts Ma'am".
Dumtadumdum.
We checked a car out of the motorpool and made our way to the mission district.
Bill made notes on what we knew of the case as we made our way down Mullholland drive.
Upon arrival at the scene we obtained these clues from neighbors:
The photographer was left handed, and wore Ray-Ban shades.
He was known as Father, and was often seen in the company of Mother.
They seemingly lived quite happily with their son Dick, and Two Daughters, Jane, the eldest, and Sally, the younger.
Their family pets were a dog named Spot, and a kitten named Puff.
The family had a blue automobile.
The children spoke in strange ways, saying things like, See Spot. See Spot Run? Run Spot run.
It is believed the family was in the F.B.I.'s witness protection program as they had no last name, and "Father" always wore a suit though he had no job.
The family was of middle middle class.
"Mother" may have been a drug addict, since no record exists of her ever saying anything at all, she never disciplined the children, and always had a strange smile on her face.
There were rumors she had worked in the pornography industry before meeting Father, who may have been a bag man for "Lucky" Luciano.
It is believed they were beamed aboard the spacecraft in the picture, as they were not seen after that day.
We made our way back to the station house.
Joe?
Yeah Bill?
What do you think has happened to that family?
Pretty obvious isn't it Bill?
You mean... .
That's right Bill. Mafia from Mars, and we can't touch em.
We could've piled up a hundred years of great policemen and great detectives: men with honor and brains and guts. They tore down every best part of them. The people who read it in the papers, they're not gonna overlook the fact that WE didn't solve this one. They're gonna overlook all the good. They'll overlook every last good cop in the country. But they'll remember us Bill, because we FAILED!
Dumtadumdum.
Shortly after this report was made Detective Sgt Joe Friday was found in his rooming house, dead of an apparent self inflicted gunshot wound to the head.
Bill Gannon resigned from the force and took up the bottle, at last report he was living under an overpass in Modesto, he has not been seen since.
Dumtadumdum.
