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I'm hoping Todd Akin will explain to me which part of my anatomy will shut down during a rape. Apparently, failing biology and hating women are the two prerequisites for being a GOP contender.

 

These should be headlines on The Onion but it's actually the real words and actions by the party that may well be governing us come January:

• We have an idiot who believes that the female anatomy comes with some trap that prevents pregnancy after a rape.
• Yet another idiot who has doubled-down and decided that the first idiot is right.
• A new idiot who is convinced that heterosexual sex cannot lead to AIDS.
• A different idiot who says that women are too silly to understand what rape is.
• Other idiots in Arizona who want to legislate that pregnancy begins two weeks prior to conception.
• A whole gaggle of idiots who feel that (ahem) boner pills are a medical necessity but contraception has no medical purpose and it's something only sluts use.
• A panel of idiots who think women cannot be trusted enough to make decisions about their reproductive health nor have the cognitive ability to be on a panel discussing female health.
• A religious idiot who said that feminists want to destroy capitalism, slaughter their children, become lesbians and practice witchcraft. (This must be why I'm so tired. There just aren't enough hours in the day...)
• A different religious idiot who thinks women should lose the right to vote. (This same black preacher also said that blacks should go back to the plantation to learn the "ethic of working.)
• A political and religious doctrine that strives to strip pregnant women of their basic rights if they suffer a miscarriage.
• A religious group that has put up billboards saying that the most dangerous place for an African American baby is inside the womb. (This therefore implies that black women cannot be trusted with their own bodies, with raising families or making any decisions about their own families. Of course, the group doesn't care one iota about actually improving the lives of black children and their families.)
• Another religious group has decided that being unable to force their religious doctrine upon all others is an affront to their religion. Using taxpayer money to pay for contraception is against their religion but have no issues using taxpayer money to pay for war, despite the fact that war is often morally objectionable to a far wider range of people.

We should remember that corporations are people, fertilized eggs even before implantation are people but women are undeserving of any rights or equality. Equal work for equal pay is not only unnecessary but encourages frivolous lawsuits. Women should be forced to carry to term their pregnancy even if they are raped or otherwise lack the physical or mental health to do so yet actually helping pregnant women and their children is Big Government and therefore evil. Women who are mentally unable to carry a pregnancy to term and attempt suicide will be prosecuted for murder. Laws have been passed that compare women to livestock. Preventing unwanted pregnancies is every bid as bad as is terminating that pregnancy. The "Planned" in front of Planned Parenthood is therefore very bad and should be defunded. Forcing teenage schoolgirls to undergo regular pregnancy tests isn't even slightly invasive while kicking them out of school if they are pregnant is good policy, apparently because forcing "sinful" girls and their progeny into a life of abject poverty is exactly what Jaysus would do. Critical thinking is bad while allowing students to forego any school assignment that conflicts with their religious beliefs is good. Prayer in school is good. Turning the country into a Christian theocracy is good but Sharia Law is bad because it forces people into following the literal interpretation of a centuries-old book.

 

Anyway, here's a picture of a cute kitten. Now you can be assured that the world is good place again: