True Confessions of an Old Paranormal Experiencer

[SheaOlmsford]

Rather than the erudite arm chair philosophers regarding UFOS and so-called aliens, I present you with my life time of paranormal experiences. First I wrote these up in a document that no one would read. Now I have created 5 YOUTUBE videos.

What do I want? Simple acknowledgement that this old fart has gone through some slippery stuff and survived relatively sane. Somewhere someone must be collecting such personal testimony besides the NSA.

Take it as you will. I realize that much of it is not very believable. Nonetheless, it happened to me.

I am in great pain tonight from taking a fall (5 hours in an ER, bruised ribs and arm in a cast), so I can't really introduce this well. If you have any interest in the stories of nobodies like me versus the ream of "celebrities" with books and DVDs to sell, check it out. I am feeling my mortality and just wanted to share it.

On the forum I am Shea Olmsford, the main character of a Terry Brooks Shannara story, although I mispelled the last name (curses! Foiled again). My real first name is Will, a 65 year old cantankerous man.

ArizonaWillful

 

[Abaris]

Hey, don't despair.
I'm just a random guy from russia, and still I've read your "woo-woo" files when you posted them here on the forum (I'm a long time lurker) and it was a really compelling reading (I have to admit, I have a soft spot for abduction syndrome).
If I remember correctly (I hope I'm not mixing anything up), you seemed to have a hunch that 'they' changed you as a child which potentially had an effect on your sexual orientation. I guess if I could somehow send this information to my government, maybe we could have had UFO issue taken seriously for once

 

[mike]

I have the Elfstones of Shanara in my library, so i recognize the handle.
Sorry to hear about the fall, hope you feel better soon.

 

[Elendil]

Sorry about the fall too, hope you'll be up and about soon. I've always found first hand experiences/stories (whatever they may really be) quite interesting. I still remember an old post from mike explaining his experience and consequently his avatar which was scary and hilarious at the same time.

I have the woo-woo files on my desktop for some time now, regular life just keeps getting in the way of reading it plus checking out the Paracast more often, and I don't know jack about anyone's sexual orientation, but in case it's true - I'd just like to chime in on Abaris' joke: someone should really tell Ramzan Kadyrov that aliens are turning people gay, we'll have the whole Chechen Republic on the hunt for UFOs .

@Abaris Привет и добро пожаловать, интересно здесь русских встретить!

 

[Burnt State]

Re: shadow people and who is in charge

Looking to god to be in charge can create its own feedback loop of personal chaos, especially as the design of reality is chaos to begin with. How we interact and perceive reality even further removes us from it all and we enter into fields of chaos.

I'm curious to know, as I haven't watched all the videos yet, but whether or not you've noticed any personal patterns regarding the times before experiences take place, no matter how abstract they might be, be it events in life or states of mind during, but the idea of repeater experiences I feel is its own unique category when it comes to paranormal phenomenon and was wondering if you can see any patterns that are outside the experience itself, things that you might identify as precursors to events and experiences, be they thought patterns, life moments, certain emotional spaces etc.

Instead of looking without for who is in charge of the design I'm asking about how we and/or our life patterns may be participants in the repetitions of extreme spaces.

 

[SheaOlmsford]

Re: shadow people and who is in charge

Looking to god to be in charge can create its own feedback loop of personal chaos, especially as the design of reality is chaos to begin with. How we interact and perceive reality even further removes us from it all and we enter into fields of chaos.

I'm curious to know, as I haven't watched all the videos yet, but whether or not you've noticed any personal patterns regarding the times before experiences take place, no matter how abstract they might be, be it events in life or states of mind during, but the idea of repeater experiences I feel is its own unique category when it comes to paranormal phenomenon and was wondering if you can see any patterns that are outside the experience itself, things that you might identify as precursors to events and experiences, be they thought patterns, life moments, certain emotional spaces etc.

Instead of looking without for who is in charge of the design I'm asking about how we and/or our life patterns may be participants in the repetitions of extreme spaces.

Great area for research.

I am well aware of the George Hansen theory about luminal anti-structure (or is it liminal anti-structure?)and his view that the paranormal appears in times of transition and personal chaos. But how much chaos can there be in the life of a 5 year old, living with 2 parents in a small Norman Rockwell town in the Midwest? Frankly, I have always been an anxiety ridden person until seeking therapy and enjoying the freedom of retirement (but it took years into the retirement for the anxiety to work its way out with professional assistance = therapy). Do all anxiety ridden people experience the paranormal? Obviously not. But did my early paranormal experiences (and I include UFOs and abduction under that category) cause the anxiety? That's what I think although my mother had a history of anxiety that could have been genetically passed on, plus being raised in an environment of anxiety and tension. But did these events that I remember coincide with specific personal transition states? No. Not that I can pinpoint for you. Sorry, George Hansen.

What I mean by my "No" is that my life was usually anxious and tense, but that was normal for me. I had a very stressful job that went on for many years. As a gay guy of my generation, I've always felt "alien" and in danger in public. I am not claiming that theories that equate paranormal experience to transition states and great stress are wrong. I just have a caution about them.

Jeff Ritzmann has become George Hansen's chief disciple. He often appears as a regular on the YOUTUBE show "WHERE DID THE ROAD GO?" (a great free complement to THE PARACAST). Jeff (besides inserting the meaningless phrases "you know" and "I mean" into almost every sentence - drives me crazy) always asks an experiencer what was going on at the time of a paranormal experience. The problem I see is that anyone can come up with something that was going on in their lives at the time, since this is the human condition. People go through change all the time, even if it is as simple as the consistency of bowel movements! So if you are researching this and ask people what was going on, the inference (to me) is that something should have been going on, so it is my duty to come up with something to satisfy the question. The question itself seems to be subtly saying "Something must have been going on at the time. Think of something". In my life, I have always been going through something, haven't you? My recent fall was quite traumatic and extremely painful. My entire routine of life was interrupted, although I am improving. But did this lead to a paranormal event? Not yet.

Nonetheless, I do think that an openness to the paranormal and a mental focus on it may increase its appearance in your life. That seems to have become true for me at one time. So this may hint at a mental connection with the experiences. If you've had one such experience and then obsess on it, I suggest that this might just cause more such experiences. Whatever the paranormal is, it seems to respond to a lot of emotional interest such as fear or worship. I cannot prove this in any way. This is just my feeling right now. That is why I have gone through a life time of cycles with these events. When the fear became too great, I would banish anything related to the experience from the house (books, videos). This actually seemed to make a big difference. But then my interest would return and I'd end up having the experiences again. But this phenomena is not consistent. Even after banning it from my conscious mind, it would reappear. You may look for patterns and think you've mapped it all out, and then it will prove you wrong. The phenomena itself seems to always be in a transitional state.

Sorry I cannot be more logical about it.

 

[SheaOlmsford]

Hey, don't despair.
I'm just a random guy from russia, and still I've read your "woo-woo" files when you posted them here on the forum (I'm a long time lurker) and it was a really compelling reading (I have to admit, I have a soft spot for abduction syndrome).
If I remember correctly (I hope I'm not mixing anything up), you seemed to have a hunch that 'they' changed you as a child which potentially had an effect on your sexual orientation. I guess if I could somehow send this information to my government, maybe we could have had UFO issue taken seriously for once

Yes, I did have this hunch. But I removed this from the document and did not mention it in the videos since it seemed too wild, even for me. I do wish Putin and the Russian Church would find a new scapegoat. Gay people are simply regular people with an attraction to the same sex. To make a big deal out of this is insane to me. Sexual orientation is intrinsic. Putin might as well go on a rampage against people born with red hair.

 

[Burnt State]

Great area for research.

I am well aware of the George Hansen theory about luminal anti-structure (or is it liminal anti-structure?)and his view that the paranormal appears in times of transition and personal chaos. But how much chaos can there be in the life of a 5 year old, living with 2 parents in a small Norman Rockwell town in the Midwest? Frankly, I have always been an anxiety ridden person until seeking therapy and enjoying the freedom of retirement (but it took years into the retirement for the anxiety to work its way out with professional assistance = therapy). Do all anxiety ridden people experience the paranormal? Obviously not. But did my early paranormal experiences (and I include UFOs and abduction under that category) cause the anxiety? That's what I think although my mother had a history of anxiety that could have been genetically passed on, plus being raised in an environment of anxiety and tension. But did these events that I remember coincide with specific personal transition states? No. Not that I can pinpoint for you. Sorry, George Hansen.

What I mean by my "No" is that my life was usually anxious and tense, but that was normal for me. I had a very stressful job that went on for many years. As a gay guy of my generation, I've always felt "alien" and in danger in public. I am not claiming that theories that equate paranormal experience to transition states and great stress are wrong. I just have a caution about them.

Jeff Ritzmann has become George Hansen's chief disciple. He often appears as a regular on the YOUTUBE show "WHERE DID THE ROAD GO?" (a great free complement to THE PARACAST). Jeff (besides inserting the meaningless phrases "you know" and "I mean" into almost every sentence - drives me crazy) always asks an experiencer what was going on at the time of a paranormal experience. The problem I see is that anyone can come up with something that was going on in their lives at the time, since this is the human condition. People go through change all the time, even if it is as simple as the consistency of bowel movements! So if you are researching this and ask people what was going on, the inference (to me) is that something should have been going on, so it is my duty to come up with something to satisfy the question. The question itself seems to be subtly saying "Something must have been going on at the time. Think of something". In my life, I have always been going through something, haven't you? My recent fall was quite traumatic and extremely painful. My entire routine of life was interrupted, although I am improving. But did this lead to a paranormal event? Not yet.

Nonetheless, I do think that an openness to the paranormal and a mental focus on it may increase its appearance in your life. That seems to have become true for me at one time. So this may hint at a mental connection with the experiences. If you've had one such experience and then obsess on it, I suggest that this might just cause more such experiences. Whatever the paranormal is, it seems to respond to a lot of emotional interest such as fear or worship. I cannot prove this in any way. This is just my feeling right now. That is why I have gone through a life time of cycles with these events. When the fear became too great, I would banish anything related to the experience from the house (books, videos). This actually seemed to make a big difference. But then my interest would return and I'd end up having the experiences again. But this phenomena is not consistent. Even after banning it from my conscious mind, it would reappear. You may look for patterns and think you've mapped it all out, and then it will prove you wrong. The phenomena itself seems to always be in a transitional state.

Sorry I cannot be more logical about it.

Oh no. That's all sounding perfectly logical to me actually. There's a lot there to unpack but briefly i'll say the first things that pop out....

You are not the first gay man I've spoken with that's highlighted a pattern of feeling alien in the world, childhood trauma and anxiety and then actually seeing aliens in the world. Ritzman drives me crazy too in some ways but the basic theoretics I subscribe to, especially the point you make regarding the role of emotions and fear. This is also a recurring pattern in paranormality. Consider the amount of brain chemistry flowing out of our amygdala in moments of fear, and maybe genetic history or childhood trauma has reduced the amount of cortisol production or ceased it altogether. How might this change or colour the act of seeing? Anti structural experiences do appear to be something of a pattern or plays a role in paranormality.

It doesn't mean there's a 1 to 1 relationship for seeing ghosts everytime we are stressed but there is certainly room for discussion in exploring witness biography/biology and paranormal experiences. The set (mindset) and setting (external conditions) may combine in unique ways to create marginal experiences in the liminal zone.

Also we do in fact see what we are looking for. As you pointed out what we dwell on, what we think about, becomes a kind of belief system that will inform the nature of seeing and of perception to varying degrees.