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Why it is my dream to some day be accused of being a disinformation agent...

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Here is my shot what do you all think?
Don't
Irritate
Someone
In
North Dakota
Forgotten
Only
Real
Medicine
Among
Indian
Older
Nation


Another
Gigantic
Enigma
Near
Time
 
Ally said:
Here is my shot what do you all think?
Don't
Irritate
Someone
In
North Dakota
Forgotten
Only
Real
Medicine
Among
Indian
Older
Nation


Another
Gigantic
Enigma
Near
Time
Click to expand...

Hmm. Sure, if I plan on being a "Disinformaion Agent". Does that have anything to do with mayo? Disinformayo Agent. Yes! Don't be shy on the mayo! Hehe. ;)
 
I posted this well over a year ago. It's so far back that it is no longer on the board. But in the spirit of this thread, I hereby submit my application:

I’d like to sign up for the New World Order in the Black Ops UFO division. I’d rather not do the neo-fascist thing, but Capitalist Masonic Pig Dog would be fine with me. My grandfather was a Mason, and I know he would have encouraged me to join had he not died before I was born. I’m cool with it. I’ve heard so many good things about the NWO that I think it’s time for me to make my contribution to the greater good. Does anyone know how to submit an application? I mean, do the Men in Black monitor this board looking for recruits, or maybe the top secret black ops guys? I don’t know, of course, but I’m assuming they must, so I thought I’d just ask them right here since their phone number is, like, unlisted.

Look, I’m well qualified. I have a lifetime of experience in both conspiracies, UFOs, and bureaucracies. I’m computer literate and height/weight proportionate. I don’t smoke. I lean conservative and I’m a loyal American. I feel my education, experience, and loyalty qualify me as a commissioned officer. Considering that time is of the essence here (I’m no spring chicken), I suggest you start me off as, say, a Lieutenant Colonel. I’m not asking to set policy or anything, but I’d like to contribute at a meaningful level and I simply do not have the time to work up through the ranks. I’m a pretty good mission specialist. Just give me direction and I’ll get the job done whatever it is. Once you see my resume you’ll understand what I’m talking about. Eventually I’d like to join the General Staff. I know I have to prove myself first, but I wanted you to know I have goals. Oh, also! I’ve had a Secret Clearance before, so we don’t have to start from scratch. I worked on the Trident nukes at Subase Bangor. I worked in configuration management and 'testing' 'stuff.' I could tell you more, but then I'd have to kill you. (Tee hee!)

So if you would just contact me, which should be easy enough for folks like you. I’m not really hiding, but I don’t want to deal with the cranks. I mean, I’ve got Caller ID on purpose. Other than that I’m easy to find. Contact me and I’ll point you to my online resume (if you haven’t found it already) and we can go from there. There’s a big open field directly in front of my house (see Google Earth to verify), so if you are restricted to, shall we say, more exotic means of travel, it should be no problem. You could always just drive up in a black sedan and knock on the door. That would be okay, too. Don’t worry about the dog. He has a big bark, but he’s really harmless. If he knows who you are he’ll hide under the bed anyway. That’s what he did last time the cops showed up. (It was no big deal. I’ll tell you all about it.)

Oh, by the way, I don’t require payment except for expenses incurred. I’ll volunteer. I wanted you to know how serious I am about this. And I’m a pretty good shot.

Thanks. Looking forward to hearing from you soon.
 
I think you won Schuyler except where is your ability to BS. I am sure that is part of the job. You are too honest. That is why I am a bad recruit as well as many other reasons.
 
One step further...

I've spent years maintaining my silence about the true nature of UFOs, who they really are and what they really want. We all know that they monitor this message board. So, they know that what I'm saying is true.

In exchange for this service on my part, I would like one small, late model flying saucer. Used is okay. I prefer the old, vintage designs. Something I can fit in my backyard. For your security and mine, it should have a cloaking device -- controlled by a pocket remote.

I give you my word that I will not misuse this gift. What I really want are five simple onboard components: (1.) The power module -- adapted to American 120/60Hz requirements (so I can get off the grid). (2.) The medical module (you know, the one that produces those neat little pearl-shaped pills with nanobots that can fix everything from Swine Flu to old age). (3.) The portable replicator (for reproducing gold coins and other small parts). (4.) A defensive shield system (for protecting myself again the Feds et al.). And last, but not least, (5.) the database (containing your accumulated surveillance vids from Earth history and surrounding planets -- again adapted so that I can browse it on my PC).

I promise to continue to remain silent -- in exchange for this small gratuity (a mere honorarium to be sure).
 
hmmm.. this could be good! Does being a Disinformation Agent come with the cool gadgets the other agencies get?.. I mean c'mon.. ya got get some of the gadgets with the position. Decoder ring maybe??
 
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