bad dreams dont "scare" me as such, more often they leave me emotionaly "disturbed" for example i used to have a re occuring dream about the fireplace at my grandma's house where a toddler would crawl unsupervised and fall face forward onto the glowing coals, and the adults would panic and pour a bottle of milk on the child to put it out, another where i was being chased by a crocodile and the faster i tried to run the slower i actually ran. typical stuff.
i contend that in the grey case i was either wide awake or the sense of being wide awake was an artifact of sleep paralysis.
i would take a bullet for my wife without a second thought, i'd see her on a life boat and happily go down with the ship if that was the choice, but i still remember screaming in my head "take her" not me..........
even today i flush with shame when i recall being so scared as to say that, it literally "unmanned" me.
im confident if the same entity image were to appear now in my lounge, i would react more or less the same as when i found a snake under the fridge, a moment of instictive fright, followed by calm rational action.
i sometimes wonder if i might even be able to stand the same thing happening ie grey in bedroom at night (i sleep naked as well, but ive also been to "nature camps" so being naked per se doesnt make me feel vulnerable)
but the Fear.... and where it took me as a being.... not ever again .
i contend that in the grey case i was either wide awake or the sense of being wide awake was an artifact of sleep paralysis.
i would take a bullet for my wife without a second thought, i'd see her on a life boat and happily go down with the ship if that was the choice, but i still remember screaming in my head "take her" not me..........
even today i flush with shame when i recall being so scared as to say that, it literally "unmanned" me.
im confident if the same entity image were to appear now in my lounge, i would react more or less the same as when i found a snake under the fridge, a moment of instictive fright, followed by calm rational action.
i sometimes wonder if i might even be able to stand the same thing happening ie grey in bedroom at night (i sleep naked as well, but ive also been to "nature camps" so being naked per se doesnt make me feel vulnerable)
but the Fear.... and where it took me as a being.... not ever again .