Very succinct answers:
1. I would suggest my experiences were at times factual (I had a perforated ear drum, remember?). The country rode incident has always been in my memory. It was factual. But I also may have had experiences that were primarily mental. I recall one night where I dreamed I was floating in mid air in a room. My partner Wes was floating beside me. Beings were coming in the room. Then I woke up because I heard owls hooting on the roof. Wes also woke up. We had shared the same dream, but we were both in bed. So I can't categorize that.
2. NO! There has been NO benefit to me from these experiences. I hated them and still do. I want nothing to do with them.
3. My mother would become hysterical if I tried to discuss this topic. She was a very anxious person by nature, and quite irrational at times. Today she would be called bi-polar. She tried, but was not a very good mother. By the age of 10, my goal was to not upset her because it would create a melo drama that could last for days. My dad sort of abandoned me to her. He was never around. One night we 3 were in the car. It was very dark outside. A red light appeared and seemed to follow the car. I was just a kid, but thought it was probably a distant radio tower light or something mundane. But once again my mother became terrified and urged my dad to drive faster.
That's all folks.
First of all, I want to double up on Constance's comments regarding what you have experienced as I do believe that the witness/experiencer like yourself needs to be approached with unique care and I don't think public forums like this can provide that. Here we already are disassociated and so it's easy to re-victimize a person who tells a series of stories as you have. You have the conviction and your own proofs that what happened, happened. That's probably the best starting point. You also have specific family history that is interwoven with the experiences and those also appear to be important starting points of investigation. So I'm also sorry that you had to live through these events that have dramatically affected yourself and family, as they obviously still bring difficult emotions to the surface. Thanks for sharing this, as anyone who claims "abductee" is always relegated to the outlier position and labelled "kook" or "pretender." I don't get the sense that you are either, but that you have memories of specific, fantastically terrifying events.
Where to go from here: my thoughts about abductions & contact continue to evolve as i engage in different stories. The ones that have any inkling of physical proofs are extremely complex as they appear on the surface to suggest the impossible: non human intelligences interacting with humans, and not just in their minds but in the real world.
I'm currently reading
Abductions & Aliens: What's Really Going On? by Chris Rutkowski who is offering up some more developed perspectives for me given the frequency of his involvement with people who feel they have had direct contact with alien intelligence. His blanket statement for the text: Alien Abduction Syndrome is real; no two abductions are the same in terms of experience, the personal history of the individual or their aftermath. He also feels there is limited proof if any that can conclusively identify aliens as responsible for this syndrome. Consequently, he feels a lot more serious, collective scientific inquiry is needed, especially by clinicians who are caring for people. Have you ever sought out clinical care as a means to process the situation, family history etc. (that is if you could find someone whose mind is not already made up on what it is you have experienced)?
I do see how many episodes of those dealing with AAS have experienced somehing akin to a schizophrenic or delusional episode - this repeats in the literature i've scanned. That's the closest known human experience that is comparable. In some cases that's exactly what is happening, and in others - there is simply not enough info to confirm, guess, deny or say much of anything that is helpful to those suffering from this syndrome. I've had some participation with the schizophrenic experience through friends - it is horrifying, inexplicable and has profound effects on them and all who are connected to them personally. These breaks with reality, especially those that involve outside agents, voices, and what appears to be physical forms manipulating the individual in the realm of AAS are not things we have any adequate explanations for at all. I hope none of this has frustrated you in any way.