Let's make up a theory

[Jose Collado]

I thought it would be fun and relieve a little tension if we all simply banded together and made up a conspiracy theory. We can start with something factual and then gradually cherry pick information until we have a well backed theory that's worthy of some following.

Who knows...we may ever foster something that catches on.

 

[AnnetteMarie]

the Canadians are taking over the US?

Canadians own a huge chunk of commercial real estate in Florida, and a major Canadian bank is making inroads into commerce in the United States, joining another Canadian bank that has been quietly setting up shop in the States; as well, many Canadian citizens have bought property in states such as Arizona, Florida, New Mexico and condos in Hawaii...

all true, believe it or not

 

[Astroboy]

Beware the Canadians jihad.

It was Canadian suicide geese that brought down the US Airway plane that landed in the Hudson River.

 

[Xylo]

Well here's a good one that you can extrapolate to cover whatever you'd like:

The establishment of the GI Bill is to blame for Americas economic woes.

 

[Kevin Daly]

The Canadians and their fanatical suicide geese are taking over the US in their capacity as the secret refuge and remnant of the Order of the Knights Templar - this is revealed by the red colour of the traditional RCMP uniform, which is clearly a reference to the red cross of the Templars.
Each Mountie post is actually a Templar commanderie.

 

[ddd999]

Fanatical suicide geese are mind-controlled by Celine Dion.

 

[dusty]

It has been revealed that both the UK and US governments not only made contact with an extra terrestrial species, further information reveals that some sort deal was made in the late 1980's, to allow them to observe, abduct and experiment on innocent people, in return for some of their propulsion and weapons tech.
The most shocking and surprising discovery so far however, is in relation to their actual physical stature.

Many of you will have noticed, often at the side of highways, what appear to be lost or discarded hubcaps. Some of these in actual fact, are cleverly disguised Alien spacecraft with a crew, of an average height of 5 milimetres.
Despite their insect like stature these visitors are known to posess technology so far in advance of our own, that any form of resistance would not only be utterly futile, we have alredy been informed by reliable sources that such actions would be met with uncompromising force directed at any and all involved.

Information at this moment is somewhat sketchy, but it is believed that our visitors actual intentions are peaceful and scientifically motivated, and that certain global experiments are already underway and are showing early signs of success, at least from their point of view.

One of their more succesful programmes apparently, is a joint effort between our two civilizations to find a way of effectively physically shrinking the human body. With a view to creating even closer ties between our two species, and freeing up much needed space on our ever more crowded and asset stretched planet.
This programme has been underway for some time, and it can now be revealed that the real purpose of all those spam messages advertising "Penis enlargment", is in fact not at all what it seems.

Though regular users report great gains in this department, in actual fact it is not so much a gain as it is a loss.
The reality of such a course of medication is that the user actually shinks while their genitals retain there original dimensions. With prolonged use the male member finally becomes to large for the host and is rejected with no detrimental effects to the previous owner, and probably more by design than accident becoming a handy and desirable home for our visitors.

I hate to be the one to bring all this to your attention but I must be honest and say that I myself am one of those involved in this experiment, and if you care to take a look at the pictures on my page the ones of me (blondy) are in actual fact lifesize.

Mark

 

[conor]

It has been revealed that both the UK and US governments not only made contact with an extra terrestrial species, further information reveals that some sort deal was made in the late 1980's, to allow them to observe, abduct and experiment on innocent people, in return for some of their propulsion and weapons tech.
The most shocking and surprising discovery so far however, is in relation to their actual physical stature.

Many of you will have noticed, often at the side of highways, what appear to be lost or discarded hubcaps. Some of these in actual fact, are cleverly disguised Alien spacecraft with a crew, of an average height of 5 milimetres.
Despite their insect like stature these visitors are known to posess technology so far in advance of our own, that any form of resistance would not only be utterly futile, we have alredy been informed by reliable sources that such actions would be met with uncompromising force directed at any and all involved.

Information at this moment is somewhat sketchy, but it is believed that our visitors actual intentions are peaceful and scientifically motivated, and that certain global experiments are already underway and are showing early signs of success, at least from their point of view.

One of their more succesful programmes apparently, is a joint effort between our two civilizations to find a way of effectively physically shrinking the human body. With a view to creating even closer ties between our two species, and freeing up much needed space on our ever more crowded and asset stretched planet.
This programme has been underway for some time, and it can now be revealed that the real purpose of all those spam messages advertising "Penis enlargment", is in fact not at all what it seems.

Though regular users report great gains in this department, in actual fact it is not so much a gain as it is a loss.
The reality of such a course of medication is that the user actually shinks while their genitals retain there original dimensions. With prolonged use the male member finally becomes to large for the host and is rejected with no detrimental effects to the previous owner, and probably more by design than accident becoming a handy and desirable home for our visitors.

I hate to be the one to bring all this to your attention but I must be honest and say that I myself am one of those involved in this experiment, and if you care to take a look at the pictures on my page the ones of me (blondy) are in actual fact lifesize.

Mark

Oh my God! The people must know! This explains EVERYTHING!!!!!!!

.... or, not

 

[Siani]

I have recently discovered that the UK government, and in fact, all world governments, are populated by human-looking evil aliens. The credit crunch has nothing to do with the banks behaving badly, and everything to do with our alien rulers siphoning off our money to fund their further expansion into the Universe.

I was also informed, by a reliable and impeccable source who I cannot name, due to his/her status, that the majority of missing persons are, in fact, abducted aboard alien craft, their souls removed, and replaced by an alien consciousness. This is how the ruling aliens are able to assume a human appearance, and fool us all, despite the nonsensical and clearly alien policies our various governments impose upon us. My source also stated this is why our governments are so keen to hide the truth about the UFO/ET situation from us. They fear we will learn the truth about the powers-that-be, and discover the only hope we have of killing them off - spraying them with any flavour of McFlurry, or surreptitiously feeding them Big Macs. I trust my source implicitly and I don't tell lies.

 

[skunkape]

The flies...they are all robots. They gather and correlate data which is all sent to a central data base.
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[Kevin Daly]

Fanatical suicide geese are mind-controlled by Celine Dion.

Or possibly the other way round. That would explain the way she sings.

 

[skunkape]

Or possibly the other way round. That would explain the way she sings.

Stevie Nicks is mind-controlled by my pet goat.
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[ddd999]

Not a conspiracy as such, but ...In recent days I have channeled Xorzuz (advanced alien from deep space 9). He urged me to post this picture:

Study it carefully... it will save your life on December 21st, 2012.

Xorzuz out!

 

[conor]

Reptilians originally from earth but left after the asteriod strike (they were dinosaurs in the distant past) who are really advanced and have been staging a secret invasion of the earth since the early 1950s. They found TV to be the best way to launch their invasion (because, you know, even though they're technologically more advanced than us and could conquer us in a second - well, they just have a really twisted sense of humour. Abductions are for kicks).

The first four were a small rock group from Liverpool called the Beatles (they went to beatlegeuse after the asteriod strike. Really, people should have joined the dots!). They began with the rock stars (led zeppilin, the who, jim morrison - all reptilians), but some time in the early 1970s they upped their game. They infiltrated hollywood, and the cult of celebrity was born in it's modern form. They're aim is to slowly but surely make us as dumb as possible. Slowly but surely the objects of worship become more and more stupid. They then put in mild forms of manipulation, until we are completely subjugated (the culmination of this will be in 2012, because that seems to be the happening year!).

They stepped up they're game around the time that Paris Hilton's Sex Tape came out.

John Lennon was a rebel reptilian, which meant they had to kill him. George was a rebel too (lsd lead them to question the invasion), but said he'd keep quiet for a quiet life.

They use holograms to masquerade as humans (they have evolved on a planet orbitting beatlejeuse from dinosaurs to small grey entities with big black eyes).

Beware the celebrities! Scientology, Paris Hilton, Tom Cruise, and their leader, the hidden one - Sir Paul McCartney!

 

[Astroboy]

The Chinese have a diabolical plan to take over Canada. They are infiltrating them one Cirque du Soleil performer at a time.

It's a brillant plan. China has a surplus of acrobats and ex-gymnasts and export them to work in Cirque du Soleil. Since they are all in heavy makeup and costumes you can't tell who is Chinese...until it's too late. There is a new Cirque du Soleil show spawning every year spreading throughout the world. Their major point of entry is Las Vegas where they sap the US and foreign tourists out of hard currency and use it to put America into more debt.

Why Canada? Cause they're nice and they look and talk just like Americans so we don't see them as a threat.

Beware the Canadians and their Chinese overlords!

 

[Ally]

An entire new breed of UFOlogist's have just arrived and are planning to take over the conferences. They will be well read, intuitive, dress nice and will only tell the truth! It will be against their nature to sell DVDs or books and will download their information into your brain ( no side effects )for free if you ask them to.

 

[Astroboy]

An entire new breed of UFOlogist's have just arrived and are planning to take over the conferences. They will be well read, intuitive, dress nice and will only tell the truth! It will be against their nature to sell DVDs or books ...

Now, you are being ridiculous!!!

 

[Kevin Daly]

An entire new breed of UFOlogist's have just arrived and are planning to take over the conferences. They will be well read, intuitive, dress nice and will only tell the truth! It will be against their nature to sell DVDs or books and will download their information into your brain ( no side effects )for free if you ask them to.

You've been on the happy juice again haven't you.

 

[Kevin Daly]

Stevie Nicks is mind-controlled by my pet goat.
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When I was 17 I would've given a lot to be your pet goat.
A least it in its Stevie Nicks mind-control capacity.

[Bad Kevin! Back to your cellar! No stuffed rats for you tonight...]

 

[conor]

An entire new breed of UFOlogist's have just arrived and are planning to take over the conferences. They will be well read, intuitive, dress nice and will only tell the truth! It will be against their nature to sell DVDs or books and will download their information into your brain ( no side effects )for free if you ask them to.

That wouldn't be a conspiracy theory - it'd be a bloody miracle!