Ron Away
Paranormal Adept
Yeah but no ankles on view in your post!.Colour me disappointed!Oooh that Lilian Gish was a real dish!
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Official funny stuff — Part 2
- Thread starter Gene Steinberg
- Start date
Free episodes:
Han
piscator ψ
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The late great George Carlin did a sketch called bodily functions, you can look it up its hilarious.
My Doctor has recently been fascinated by what he calls Stools, the shape the size the colour and consistency. There was some confusion at first since i prefer armchairs to stools, the bigger and softer the better.
I think it must be my age, because the Govt sends me free of charge every year its own version of the gag gift.(mine always arrives in December and since i dont celebrate Xmas, i take it in seasonal spirits) A medium sized flat cardboard box with a pair of disposable gloves, a bag, two plastic test tubes with little wands build into the tips and a return envelope addressed to the bowel cancer screening division of my local dept of health.
If you've ever had a bad day at work, stop and think about the people who work full time opening these envelopes.
They don't accept invitations to cocktail parties, because invariably someone will ask "what do you do for a living ?"
And no one even invites them to dinner parties for obvious reasons, not while im eating please...........
So the doctor is asking me these questions and apart from the nasty beetroot juice scare of 09, i don't have much to tell him. (Drink a glass of straight beetroot juice and look in the bowl next time you......in advance that bright red colour is nothing to be alarmed about)
So i asked him a question that's been on my mind for a long time.
"Why is poo tapered at one end ?"
With a deadpan face he gives me the medical explanation.
"Its so your arse doesn't snap shut with a loud bang"
Now i can tell you without violating the temporal prime directive, that at one point in our distant evolutionary past some people didn't have tapered poo.
They have all died out now evolution doing what it does best.
This wasn't a survival trait back in the day when everyone carried spears and was very nervous about cave bears and sabre toothed tigers.
And it tended to spook the herds of game animals in the vicinity.
My uncle injured in a car accident has a prosthetic bum , and one day , for reasons yet explained by medical science his poo was not tapered.
Well.......
His arse snapped shut with such an almighty clang, it broke windows, set off car alarms and set dogs to barking for a two mile radius.
Half the tiles in his bathroom broke, and he never saw his cat mittens again.
Anyone who thinks farts are funny doesn't know the half of it.
My Doctor has recently been fascinated by what he calls Stools, the shape the size the colour and consistency. There was some confusion at first since i prefer armchairs to stools, the bigger and softer the better.
I think it must be my age, because the Govt sends me free of charge every year its own version of the gag gift.(mine always arrives in December and since i dont celebrate Xmas, i take it in seasonal spirits) A medium sized flat cardboard box with a pair of disposable gloves, a bag, two plastic test tubes with little wands build into the tips and a return envelope addressed to the bowel cancer screening division of my local dept of health.
If you've ever had a bad day at work, stop and think about the people who work full time opening these envelopes.
They don't accept invitations to cocktail parties, because invariably someone will ask "what do you do for a living ?"
And no one even invites them to dinner parties for obvious reasons, not while im eating please...........
So the doctor is asking me these questions and apart from the nasty beetroot juice scare of 09, i don't have much to tell him. (Drink a glass of straight beetroot juice and look in the bowl next time you......in advance that bright red colour is nothing to be alarmed about)
So i asked him a question that's been on my mind for a long time.
"Why is poo tapered at one end ?"
With a deadpan face he gives me the medical explanation.
"Its so your arse doesn't snap shut with a loud bang"
Now i can tell you without violating the temporal prime directive, that at one point in our distant evolutionary past some people didn't have tapered poo.
They have all died out now evolution doing what it does best.
This wasn't a survival trait back in the day when everyone carried spears and was very nervous about cave bears and sabre toothed tigers.
And it tended to spook the herds of game animals in the vicinity.
My uncle injured in a car accident has a prosthetic bum , and one day , for reasons yet explained by medical science his poo was not tapered.
Well.......
His arse snapped shut with such an almighty clang, it broke windows, set off car alarms and set dogs to barking for a two mile radius.
Half the tiles in his bathroom broke, and he never saw his cat mittens again.
Anyone who thinks farts are funny doesn't know the half of it.
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